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Im an 18 year old girl and up until recently i used to read hentai and fanfiction with loli/shota (basically sexualized drawings of children in anime). Two months ago i stopped and got heavy pocd and anxiety and three weeks ago i started therapy over it.

Based on past experience(no im not gonna whine, i just find this odd), i should be very emotional right now. I should either be depressed or anxious or something. But i really and truely feel nothing. To put it in a better way, i feel like im living in a bubble, all alone, just watching as the rest of the world moves on and passes me by.

For example i used to baby sit a little boy (which im extremely un attracted to little boys) and id take him to the park as per his mothers request, but id go there and nearly have an anxiety attack brought about by the inner battle of pleasure vs. morals caused by the abundance of pre pubescent girls running around so close to me.

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